Saturday, March 04, 2006

Grand Canyon

Tonight, as I was leaving the house, I considered turning on the porch light so people would have some light while they were coming and going. I reconsidered, however, when I concluded that I would be the only one either going or coming, and I could easily get by with my excellent night vision; besides, electricity costs money. So I jogged through the dark to my car with no mishaps, until I hit a little snag in the form of a giant crevasse in my driveway. As I started into my graceful ninja roll which would land me back on my feet, I was momentarily distracted by the brutal irony of the situation. This caused my roll to go completely awry and I instead gracefully smashed both of my knees and one of my hands. My one comfort as I lay there was that I could use all the money I saved to pay for bionic legs. I will be rebuilt. Better than I was before. Better, stronger, faster. Here is an anticipated picture of me, post-surgery.


All of the DJs in Kirksville conspired tonight to play awful music, except for one song: "Can't Touch This." What a phat beat! I actually was too young to really get into M.C. Hammer's music when he was popular, but I certainly remember watching Hammerman. M.C. can make a path out of music notes to escape from a crashing airplane like nobody else.

6 comments:

Sarah said...

I'm looking forward to your post-recovery self. Hopefully I will like you more then than I do now.

Katie said...

LOL...I forgot about Hammerman! "Whenever trouble threatens his homeboys..."

Where did you catch the beats of these phat dj's in the 'ville?

mom said...

Oh, David, your amusing post made me laugh out loud...I guess that's LOL.

David said...

It was playing on 88.7, Truman's radio station and Kirksville's only TRUE alternative.

abbinator said...

The fact that you used "phat" in this post makes it totally doofy.

your girlfriend's concerned friend said...

i hope you realize that by describing hammer as phat you are really calling him pretty hot and tempting...is there something you need to tell us?